You don't know Jack!!!

I spent the whole of last year with three wonderful flat-mates. Among other things, they were huge fans of the hit TV series 24, starring Kiefer Sutherland as the indestructible and indefatigable Jack Bauer.

Dev once forwarded a humorous article on Jack Bauer. The following work wonderfully well if you substitute any B-grade action hero for Jack Bauer! :P
(Jet Li, Vijaykanth and Mithunda are some names that come readily to mind. Oftentimes, my friends scandalize me by including the venerable Rajni Sir in this list... but I refuse to acquiesce!)

I'm including five of my favorites (quoted from site):

1) The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

2) Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.

3) When Jack Bauer was a kid, he made his mom eat Spinach.

4) Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

5) Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."

Click this link for a hundred more: You don't know Jack!